| | So about that getting old...I am still a few months from what will only be my 22nd birthday, and yet I still feel old in a lot of ways. Relatively, at least. The fact that many of the people around me are several years older means that I am basically just being dramatic, but being halfway into your SIXTH year of undergrad starts to take a toll.
Classes are awkward because, ホリクラップ, most of the people around me are kids. I wonder what I must have been like when I first entered UW at 16...even more of a kid than everyone else. Wow.
I have to sit close now. Usually in the first two rows. My eyes have not gone bad, but they are certainly not as good as they were a year or two ago. And I have to sleep a lot. I used to be able to function on four hours pretty well, as long as it wasn't for several days in a row. These days, if I don't get a good 7.5 hours of sleep, I'm dead. Completely.
Little things remind me of memories I wish I could share or return to...and then the bittersweetness that comes when you realize that those people have moved on, that time has passed, and there's nowhere to go but forward. I look forward to the time when I will be able to look back on the past in general and on Japan in particular with only fondness, and not the kind of smiley-sadness that I feel now. I think it will be easier when I finally get closer to that sort of vague forward towards which I have nowhere else to go. Maybe it is time for me to get my eyes checked =)
I've finally come to be able to enjoy living where I live. Turns out I am living with a bunch of guys who are almost half as assholic as I am, so we do a lot of learning to live with grace and love and patience with each other. I think this will serve us all well in the future. We've also started meeting as small groups this quarter, getting to know each other better and sharing our lives together. It's nice to have that again.
It's hard to focus. Whether it be the whiteboard, schoolwork, the future, or the fundamentally important development of self that is so important in this confusing collision of spirit and flesh and thought and action and theory and practice that is life.
</meander>
I feel so far from Ayu. =(
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| | Posted 1/28/2008 12:29 PM - 186 Views - 10 eProps - 6 comments
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